The astute among you may have noticed that this poem which is usually slated for the day the regular season ends is late. There’s a reason. I’ve decided to integrate playoff performance into the end of the poem this season. Mostly because I’m a masochist. But also, I think that a season review needs to, you know, review the playoffs and World Series too. So, without further ado, Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone: The 2013 Edition
Two-thousand-twelve was nothing but sloppy,
But 2013 rebirthed Big Papi
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone
A wild card birth wasn’t good enough
But the injured Rays managed to hang tough
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone
The Bronx Geezers in third? How can it be?
No really. I mean it. Seriously?
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone
You can’t win by one run every game
That’s why the O’s record wasn’t the same
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone
Preseason Jays were media darlin’s
Regular season played like the Marlins
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone
Max and Anibal were really that good
But Detroit won when Miggy laid the wood
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone
Success in Cleveland? A playoff bid too?
Terry Francona: He knows what to do
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone
Ten games over par, KC had the bats
Can next year’s Royals be last season’s Nats?
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone
The Twinkies were bad, lost 96 games
But with prospects so good, best learn some names
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone
Okay. I was wrong. The White Sox sucked ass.
One bad prediction. Can I get a pass?
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone
The Moneyball A’s won the west again
Because of the value of Josh Donaldson
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone
The Rangers looked done, beaten, battered, bruised
But they wouldn’t die until they got Cruz’d
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone
The dream team no more, LA played ugly
But Mike Trout’s the best; he watches smugly
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone
The Mariners did not finish in last
But I mean, c’mon, just look who they passed
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone
The Astros aren’t in this, left them lonely
No offense, just Major League teams only
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone
The Braves like long balls, to walk and to K
Imagine them sans Uggla and B.J.
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone
Ten over .500, but ten games back
Predictions so bad, induced Harp’ attack
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone
The Mets came in third place? How can it be?
No really. I mean it. Seriously?
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone
The Phillies just straight up fell off the Cliff
The team can still pitch, but hitters, they whiff
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone
Scored 97 less runs than the ‘Stros
Ladies and gents, these the Miami woes
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone
The Red Birds won the most games in baseball
It seems like they are a fixture come fall
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone
Holy shit! Holy shit! The Buccos won!
Giving some mad love to ‘Drew Mccutchen
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone
As I type this, Votto walks yet again
Moves Choo to second, got hit now and then
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone
The Brewers without Braun, not the best team
But season was good for Gomez’ esteem
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone
Make it 105, Cubs lose another
Give me a face-palm and an “Oh Brother”
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone
Having fun, Puig had himself a season
Everyone hates him for no good reason
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone
The D’Backs played well, but not well enough
Repeat this success? Next year’ll be rough.
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone
The G-Men regressed, repeat no avail
The pitching was okay, hitting was stale
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone
The Padres improved, fourth place they came in
Don’t confuse that with good. They still can’t win.
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone
After CarGo went down, the Rockies blew
Didn’t matter that they have Tulo too
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone
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